Monday, March 31, 2014

I'm gonna dig six feet up tonight

+ What's on: Comeback, by Redlight King

Good thing I'd planned on moving in 2014--that moving fund and my credit card just barely kept us afloat. We're effectively stranded here another year, but we're finally a two-income household again. I was bitter about it when I had to make the decision to gut my savings account, but I'm too tired to be angry about it anymore. What matters is that we made it and we can start finding our feet again.

I took the promotion. I was right when I said it'd be a noticeable pay cut. I knew we couldn't afford it at the time, but I did it anyway. Probably the only smart decision I've made this year, as I've stopped hating going to work in the morning. It's done wonders for my sanity.

All that RL nonsense aside.... Thank you. Thank you for the comments, the emails, the tumblr asks, the tweets, the messages. I'm sorry I couldn't respond. I'd hit a place where knowing people were waiting for me to say something made me retreat further. The only way to get through the last few months was to shut out as much of everything as I could. Not a healthy mindset or the best kneejerk reaction, but.

Last time I posted (forever and a year ago) I said I got to a chapter and a half from the end before realizing I had to rewrite an entire section. I also said I was losing track of the characters' motives due to outside stresses. Followed people's advice and reread the books.. then started rewriting an entire character's arc and personality.

They say "write what you know". There should be a disclaimer on that. When you are feeling trapped, the very last thing you should do is write a character who has hit the end of his desperate rope. It will backfire tremendously. I can't count how many times I opened this file and closed it again with a violent nope.

But here we are, and I can breathe again. You have no reason to believe me, and no reason to stick with me, but we are finally reaching the end of the road. I promise.

Also: today is March 31st--Neil Josten's birthday.

One more for the road, Neil.

Let's make it count.