Wednesday, November 26, 2014


+ What's on: Fix Me, by 10 Years

April 21, Taurus

It's taken a lifetime to lose my way
A lifetime of yesterdays
All the wasted time on my hands turns to sand
And fades in the wind

Crossing lines, small crimes
Taking back what is mine

I'm fine in the fire
I feed on the friction
I'm right where I should be
Don't try and fix me

Seth Gordon was one of the first Foxes signed to Palmetto State University. Born and bred in Birmingham, Alabama, he was the fourth of seven sons. His parents were never married, and his father left in the middle of the night when Seth was eight. Seth, who was named after his father, had gone by Bryan until that point. After Bryan Sr.'s abrupt disappearance, his mother (Rebecca, never Becky) started calling Seth by his middle name.

His mother went from working one job to three to make ends meet. She kept her family afloat but was suddenly absent all the time, leaving her children to be raised by her second-oldest son (Jeremy, twelve years old at the time). The older children couldn't cope with their father's disappearance and their mother's new absenteeism, so unsurprisingly the household became a rowdy disorganized mess. Bullying was the major means of keeping the younger children in line, and it oftentimes got out of hand.

Before long Seth was taking out his frustration and stress on his classmates. He spent the rest of elementary school bouncing between detention, the principal's office, and the guidance counselor's office. Halfway through his fifth-grade year Seth's teacher Mrs. Everett introduced Seth to her husband, who coached Exy at the local high school, while Seth was staying late for detention.

The Everetts thought Seth just needed a healthier physical outlet so pushed him to start sports. Seth started Exy at the YMCA during middle school, catching the bus to and from the court alone every day for practices. For a while Seth showed real improvement. The Everetts stayed in touch with Seth up until Seth's ninth grade year—at which point Coach Everett accepted a position in another state without telling any of his players. Seth never heard from either of them again, and his attitude took a turn for the worse.

Seth signed with the Foxes because it was a way out and the smart thing to do, but he moved to South Carolina believing it wouldn't last. Seth was sure Coach Wymack would give up on him sooner or later, so refused to fully commit to the program.


Seth & Allison were never together for more than a few months at a time. His swing-first attitude, cyclical depression, and commitment issues and Allison's too-honest, haughty nature had them fighting as often as they were fucking. Seth was scared of her—of how he felt for her, of how easily she swept into his life to turn him inside-out, and of how forceful she was about his behavior and life choices—and he hated that she made him feel that way. He hated being on the defensive and hated the what-if of a real relationship.

The two first hooked up after they went to a frat party off-campus (Allison's freshman year, Seth's sophomore). Allison let her competitive nature get in the way of her common sense and had too much to drink around too many drunk strangers. She hit the point between black-out drunk and total unconsciousness, and a couple frat brothers helped her upstairs to a bedroom so she could "sleep it off". Seth passed them on his way downstairs from the toilet, made a decision by the time he reached the first-floor landing, and went back upstairs to save her. He got in two drunken fistfights getting Allison out of that house, but he finally managed to get Allison into the back of a taxi. The driver helped Seth carry her as far as Fox Tower's elevator, and Seth left her in Dan and Renee's custody.

It was the first sign that Seth could be anything besides a loudmouthed aggressive jerk, and Allison latched onto that potential with fiery determination. The girls needed influence over their uncooperative male teammates, and Allison thought she could use Seth as that foothold in. She and Seth spent a couple months bickering, then a couple years falling in and out of each other's beds.


Seth wears Neil's original number--when there were only 6 Foxes on the line-up in the comic, Neil was #6.

In previous drafts, when Neil was a little chattier about his truths and the upperclassmen had more screen time, Neil and Seth had a couple scenes alone together around the dorm or downtown. Neil was just forceful enough, with just enough insight into why Seth acted the way he did, to finally get Seth started on the right track. Neil convinced Seth it was time to let his past go and stop letting it poison everything he did.

FOXES - 2006

"He didn't do this," Allison said brokenly. "He called me. He called me not even an hour ago! He was drunk and rambling but he was happy for the first time in weeks. He was talking about how he finally thought graduating would be okay, about how he wanted me to help him look into grad schools. He wanted to go into social work and help people like he helps us."

She was crying again and fighting to speak through her tears. "I teased him and asked him how much he'd had to drink. He promised he'd stopped after we left him there. He said he talked to Neil, said that maybe he wasn't so bad after all and we'd have a good season for once. He wanted me to be his date for fall banquet. He can't just--he can't just lie there and not wake up. He can't, not when he finally wants to hang on. Why would he have--Abby, tell him he wouldn't have done this!"

The officer looked like he'd rather be anywhere but here right now. "Miss Reynolds, the doctor says he has a history of overdosing."

"No!" Allison shrieked. Neil flinched and hunched deeper into his coat, wishing he would sink through the sidewalk and disappear. He was afraid to look up at her and see that wild grief on her face. "I know he wanted to die! Everyone knows he wanted to die! Every time he said he was done with life I walked away from him and every time he came chasing after me. This is the first time--he wanted to live. He was going to stop drinking and come clean and maybe let me make an honest man out of him. A couple more drinks before he called me and he would have proposed, he said. Don't tell me that he's never waking up! I don't believe you!"


Olga Katri said...

That's not fair!!! You made me almost like him and he's the least likeable of the bunch!!!! And dead!!!! I'm depressed...

Marina Elena said...

That was sad. T___T
I just developed more sympathy for Seth in the few minutes reading this than in the hours reading both books. And even in the books you only find out what kind of person he really was under his a*holish exterior after his death.
I guess Andrew would say, 'he had to die to be worth something.' So harsh...